when I was 18, I met this boy, my old classmate. I think all of you are familiar with my love story as I've wrote about it thousands time in this blog.
yes it has been 5 years readers, 5 years of marriage with the boy I met when I was 18. he is now, a father to my child. a very great father I can say. this 5 years had been filled will laugh, tears, hard and painful experience. but yet, as long as there is love, we can overcome all that. anyhow, flashback to the year I'm still wondering who's my husband.
Growing up, we have all probably wondered about the man we will marry - what he looks like, what his voice sounds like, what color his eyes are etc. We have all watched Disney's fairy tale movies like "Cinderella," "The Little Mermaid" and "Sleeping Beauty." The love stories that Disney creates can be merely fiction. Knowing this leads many people to believe that kind of love does not exist, but not me. I pray that one day, I can have my own hero in the story of my life. I want the heroic character to come and meet me at certain point in my life. at the time I need him the most.
and yes, I met him when I was 18. though I'm not really sure at first whether he's the one, but over time, I am very keen that he's the one I'm gonna marry.
and at the age of 21, we fought hard to be married. we overcome all the challenges, to get married at a very young age, at 21 years old. at this time, tears keep coming and i can never imagine this is how it gonna turn up 5 years later.
i lost my dad 4 months after I got married. you can imagine how I felt at that time. like the whole world is fallen right in front of my eyes, i feel like cannot even live for a single second after. i fought with my dad a lot, we are not in the same terms since I am 18, we always arguing for small little things, moreover when my dad found out that I'm dating a man during my matriculation years. after that we were never in good terms.
but
even after all the fought. all the misunderstanding..
i love my dad so much, so much that it hurts when he leave me, suddenly, without any last words, and what more painful is that, I never even had the chance to say, "I love you ayah". truth to be told, I am regretting that every second of my life.
and still regretting it....
ayah
apa masih ingat lagi
aku suka lari lari
kau bagaikan tak peduli
ku biar kau patah hati
apa masih tidak lupa
tengking jerit sama sama
makan tak mahu semeja
sahabat lebih berharga
apa mampu kau sudikan
ampun maaf ku sujudkan
bisa tidak kau teruskan
ku sesat kau tunjuk jalan
apa layak aku bagi
tak terbalas sampai mati
kau sungguh yang paling tinggi
istanamu syurga nanti...
gambar di tahun 2010, satu-satunya gambar yang aku ada dengan ayah
but I thanks Allah, I am over grateful, for Him to give me the husband I'm praying for. the man that can fill the hole in my heart, after loosing my dad. and even now, I am blessed with three sons, what more can I ask when I have all I wanted in this life.
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